


the beautiful complexity of us

by BridgetMcKennitt



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Making Love, Missing Scene, Pining, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 00:21:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2831321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BridgetMcKennitt/pseuds/BridgetMcKennitt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When she saw Barbara at her door, Renee knew she was going to let Barbara back into her life. Renee didn't know if it was temporary or not, but she wasn't going to ruin this second chance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the beautiful complexity of us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [plinys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/gifts).



The frantic knocking brought Renee hurrying to open the door. It was Gotham, after all, and there were fires everywhere. Except, as she opened the door, it wasn't her partner standing in the hall but Barbara Kean instead, the one who got away. No, she mentally corrected, the one she _let_ get away.

Renee opened the door even wider. "Barbara? What are you doing here?"

Barbara gave her a bittersweet smile and Renee noticed there was luggage behind her. "I left Jim. I was hoping it was possible if I could stay with you for awhile? Just until I figure out what to do."

"Of course." She stepped aside to let Barbara into her apartment and closed the door behind her. "You can stay in my guest bedroom. I'll get you some pillows."

Barbara reached out and touched her arm. "Thank you so much. I know we haven't had the smoothest of relationships, but I've always known you're here for me when I need you."

"And I always will be. Remember that."

She watched Barbara take her luggage into the guest room before going to the linen closet to grab some pillows for her. Just because Barbara was here instead of a hotel or on an airplane leaving Gotham didn't mean anything. Just like Barbara having left Jim didn't mean anything either. Still, as she brought the pillows into the guest bedroom and saw Barbara unpacking her luggage, Renee couldn't help but hope that this meant something.

Barbara let out a loud sigh before smiling at Renee. "I think I'm going to take a long shower. You don't mind, right?"

"Do whatever you need to do. I don't have to go into work today."

"This is good, thank you." As Barbara passed by Renee, Renee couldn't help but reaching out and squeezing Barbara's shoulder. Barbara turned back to smile at her once more before leaving the bedroom towards the bathroom.

This was good. She liked Jim and all, especially knowing he was a good cop, but she loved Barbara more. If she could help Barbara out and keep Jim out of the picture, then maybe she could heal the rift between them.

She wasn't much of a cook and she rarely had time to cook anything with the hours she pulled at work, but she could make Barbara her favorite dessert to cheer her up. It was strange and it made Renee laugh that a socialite such as Barbara who had sampled rich, expensive desserts across Gotham would prefer a cheap chocolate pudding topped with whip cream.

Renee remembered how she'd make that every weekend and they'd sit naked in the living room, laughing as they ate chocolate pudding off each other while they watched movies on the television. It was one of her favorite memories of their time together. She hoped that Barbara still liked chocolate pudding and that their breakup didn't taint the dessert or her memories.

The bathroom door opened up and steam drifted out as Barbara walked out with a towel on her head and another towel wrapped around her body. Renee took in her fill at just how beautiful Barbara was before turning around and giving her some privacy.

"I have Netflix and chocolate pudding when you're dressed," Renee called out as she got some utensils and picked up the bowl. She brought it to the living room and set it down on the coffee table as she sat down on the couch.

She heard Barbara getting dressed before coming out and sitting down next to her on the couch. Barbara was a strong woman, it was what attracted Renee to her in the first place, but right now she looked vulnerable. Renee softened as she placed her hand on Barbara's knee.

"Do you want to talk about it?" At Barbara's frown, Renee backtracked. "Or we can eat chocolate pudding and watch a silly movie. The choice is yours."

"I'll go with the second choice. I haven't seen been watching much movies lately."

"Done." Renee picked up the remote and brought up Netflix. She chose a random comedy from the options and leaned back. 

Barbara curled her legs under her as the movie began. Ten minutes into it, Barbara had relaxed enough that she started smiling and laughing. Renee picked up the bowl of pudding and placed it on her lap so they could both reach for it.

By the end of the movie, the bowl of chocolate pudding was empty and Barbara was almost back to her normal self. Renee turned towards Barbara and leaned her head on her elbow that was resting on the back of the couch.

"Feel better?"

"Tons better." Barbara let out a happy sigh. "Thank you for this, Renee."

"You're welcome. That's what I'm here for." Renee yearned to lean towards Barbara and kiss her, wanted to take her to bed and make love to her, but she couldn't. Barbara may not be with Jim currently, but Renee had no right to her either. She could only support Barbara with whatever she needed. "Want to watch another movie?"

"I could really go for a drink." Barbara made a face as she glanced at Renee. "I'm so sorry. I know you're sober now."

Renee raised her hand to stop Barbara. "I can handle people drinking around me. And I actually have a bottle of champagne in the kitchen if you want. Someone should drink it since I'm not going to."

Barbara raised her eyebrow as Renee stood up. "Then why do you have it?"

"It was a gift from the annual Major Crimes holiday party. I just haven't gotten around to getting rid of it. You're doing me a favor really."

Renee hummed to herself as she opened up the bottle of champagne and poured it into a glass. She returned to the living room and handed the glass to Barbara.

Barbara thanked her as she brought the rim of the glass to her lips. Renee felt a pang at not being able to drink that champagne, but it was for the best. She was never going to regress and slide back into the horrible person she was when she drank. She couldn't stand seeing the hurt expression on Barbara's face any longer.

"I'll put on another movie."

Every time the champagne in Barbara's glass grew low, Renee filled it from the bottle. Soon Barbara was resting her head on Renee's shoulder and Renee had her arm wrapped around her.

"This is nice," Barbara said out of the blue. She nuzzled her nose against Renee's shoulder. "It's been a really long time since I've been able to relax like this. Thank you again."

"I feel the same way. It's been tough in the Major Crime Unit lately ever since the Waynes died." She frowned. "Something big is happening and I don't know whether I can help stop it or not."

Barbara patted Renee's hair before nuzzling her nose against her shoulder once more. "You can do it. You're a good person and that has never changed. I believe in you."

Renee looked down to Barbara's upturned face and smiled at her. Barbara was close enough to kiss and she wasn't moving away. This felt like the old times, but better. It felt like something new. Except she couldn't kiss her. Not like this.

"Barbara, we can't," she said, whispering the words.

Barbara narrowed her eyes at her. "We can."

"You're hurt and drank half a bottle of champagne. You'll regret this in the morning."

Barbara rolled her eyes. "I've drank more than this before and been fine, and I know what I want. Renee, you've always been there for me and I want this. I want us."

Renee was weak against Barbara, always had been, and she couldn't resist Barbara's plea. She bent her head and captured Barbara's lips in a kiss. Renee held Barbara tight as they continued to kiss.

They managed to make it to Renee's bedroom and Renee carefully stripped Barbara out of her clothes before pressing her down onto the bed. She wanted to take her time making love to Barbara. It'd been so long since they'd been together and Renee wanted to enjoy herself. Wanted Barbara to feel nothing but pleasure.

Renee pressed her fingers inside of Barbara as she kissed her deeply, enjoying Barbara's moans as she brought her to orgasm. Then she did it again. And again until Barbara was glistening with sweat and panting heavily. Renee crouched over Barbara with a huge grin on her face.

"How are you feeling?"

Barbara lifted her hand to cup Renee's cheek. "Just perfect. That's exactly what I needed." She rubbed her knee against the inside of Renee's thigh as she licked her bottom lip. "I can give you exactly what you need."

Renee kissed her, licking into her mouth. Barbara shifted her knee so it rubbed against Renee's pussy. Barbara was everything she wanted and more, and she was going to make sure this time around she wasn't going to ruin things.


End file.
